I think that obsession is, if not every, most girlfriends tale, how many times have you heard a man tell you about his crazy ex girlfriend, how many times have you believed him?

Freaky Nikki, a character that makes you uncomfortable, a voodoo wish gone wrong, but is it just that? It is not. Nikki was an average girl who literally wanted to go home and sleep, all she wanted to do was rest, but did that happen?

The whole idea of men chasing women they like comes into the picture here, I can’t stop to thinking about how once the chase is over, men are no longer interested in the women they were once crazy about. Nikki, although against her will and in a sick way, gave in, her ending was traumatic, like Anne Boleyn for example, once she gave in to the chase, the woman was quite literally executed by the same man, who was once madly in love with her.

Bear seems like a sweet character, those harmless guy friends that would never hurt you, he goes to the store to find Nikki a crystal necklace, even though his cat just died, what a sweet friend, an illusion that most men have us under, he drops her home too, until then you don’t think Bear would be capable of something horrible.

The movie gets darker as we move forward, he literally violates Nikki and then acts like the nice guy by making sure she isn’t drunk before they kiss, you can see the real Nikki so disgusted by what hes doing, that she falls off of the bed and the next day we see Bear telling Ian that Nikki is acting weird, really Bear? Is Nikki acting weird, or are you a pervert who’s taking advantage of a woman because of a wish you demanded?

Bear is happy with Nikki as long as she does what he wants her to, as long as she loves him as he wanted, as they cuddle, kiss and do cute couple like things together, he likes that she no longer has any access to her autonomy, he likes that she’s now his puppet, a doll with whom, he can do whatever he wants.

Then we finally see Nikki acting weird in many different scenes, screaming at the restaurant, feeding him his cat, watching him sleep, not allowing him to go anywhere without her, things that are unsettling and slowly Nikki goes from being the cute lovable girl to inconvenient crazy clingy girlfriend.

This is the part where Bear, the man who was crazy about Nikki starts thinking of her as a problem, so much so, that the girl he once thought of as a friend, Sarah, now seems like a better option, another convenient alternative.

It isn’t just Bear, Ian and Sarah are problematic people too, all Ian can think of Nikki’s behaviour is that she’s trying to get back at him, he isn’t worried about her, or why the guy she considered she said was like her little brother is who she’s now dating. Sarah on the other hand just continuously believes that Nikki is playing a game, she tells Ian about what Nikki told her, and even after seeing how weirdly possessive Nikki has become of Bear, she decides to send him a text message in the middle of the night.

How is it that none of them thought about talking to Nikki, about her decision, or about her odd behaviour, a good friend would confront Nikki. Bear is never held accountable, everyone thinks of Nikki as the crazy girlfriend, Ian once confronts Bear but it somehow turns against Nikki again, about how he shouldn’t bring Nikki along to the party.

The movie is full of red flags, the fact that Bear is a self-centred loser is not surprising at all, the fact that the real nikki surfaces and asks him to kill her and all he can think of is “what’s so bad about being with me”, solidifies his selfish nature.

One thing I didn’t think of until after the movie was how irresponsible Bear was, his open pill bottle killed his cat, Sandy, he was unfit to take care of anyone. Another thing that seems like a little bit of a reach, was when Nikki was home alone, she urinates on the carpet, defecates on it too, yes it’s disgusting, but it also made me think if this was a representation of how Bear treated Sandy, left for long hours and didn’t truly care for her, many pet owners do that, they don’t care for their pets after the excitement of having a new pet is over. He treats Nikki the same way too, infact his reaction to his dead cat is bizzare, how do you get over it so quickly?

Another thing is that throughout the movie Bear knew that it wasn’t the real Nikki, he knew because there were several instances, like when he calls the one wish willow hotline and he hears the real Nikki scream, when at the party after Nikki falls back and repeats its not me and tries to harm herself, the whole hansel and gretel story she reads which is incestuous but depicts her true relationship with bear, because she thought of him as her little brother, the pictures she puts in her lunch boxes where she writes “Not me” below her picture.

The proof is right there and Bear turns a blind eye constantly because he just wants Nikki, even if it is against her will, he snatches her agency, while she begs for her freedom constantly, he continues to ignore her cry for help and portrays her as the clingy, crazy girlfriend archetype.

In the end as well, the true criminal and villain, Bear dies, even though it seems like he deserved it, it was unfair to Nikki who would now have to explain the death of three people, and obviously no one would believe her magic willow story, the real culprit died without being held accountable, the victim here, Nikki, would definitely be blamed because that is the reality of the world.

It also shows us the true nature of our society, blaming the victim, usually the girl, is much more easier all across the globe, questions like, “what were you wearing?”, “were you drinking?”, is common to this day, no one thinks of holding the man accountable, after a lot of victim shaming and blaming, people finally decide the woman’s character and after that they decide on a punishment for the man.

The entire plotline of of obsession occurred because Bear was a stubborn man who couldn’t fathom a woman he wanted not wanting him back, it was about Bear’s obsession, not the other way around. Bear constantly made everything about himself, his inability to let a woman he was into live peacefully led to terrible consquences, and in the end, he dies without being held responsible for anything.

To the women reading this, obsession tells you to stay away from incels, you can’t truly find out who is an incel though, with performative males on the rise it has become a little diffcult to differentiate between genuine men and the fake ones, are there no good men left? I don’t think so, I just think men like Bear have increased in the past few years, and the only solution for that problem is public shaming.

Stay safe, stay vigilant, trust your gut and listen to your girlfriends.

Thank you for reading ♡

I don’t feel like writing anymore because of all the AI content going around, I feel like my creativity is no longer valued, or that AI creates better write ups than I do, and I have realised that I am stupid for thinking that, have you been feeling the same way too?

I have got you, I want you to know that it’s okay to put out work that you think is mediocre because it may be just the kind of inspiration someone out there needs.

I have been unable to write something because of a slump I have been in, repeatedly thinking that AI is doing a better job than me and my writing isn’t interesting enough has killed any form of creativity within me, and I am wrong.

I have decided to write whatever I feel now, it could be anything that I am passionate about, I want the internet and my substack community to read what I write, so I am back.

In uncertain times where countless wars occur and our economy plummets, I believe that its necessary that we document our feelings, our thoughts and everything else in between.

Your work doesn’t have to be perfect, perfection is something you should want to achieve, but it isn’t something you must attain in order to be creative, you get what I am saying?

Sometimes we must all just deal with our overthinking and continue with our creative interests, because if we let a robot get in the way of our creativity we are totally doomed. Human creativity is necessary, we must keep the whimsy alive, or whatever it is you want to achieve.

Humanity has come a long way because of creativity and as people continue to forget their creative roots, we must revive art and culture, we must remind other human beings why their imagination matters.

Human beings need to be humane, especially in times like these, and I believe that any kind of art, be it movies, paintings, music, books, or writing has always touched hearts and has always evoked emotions, and if we start questioning ourselves and the work we put out, and our creativity, we won’t get anywhere.

I remember the first time I watched my favourite K-drama, I felt giddy, and happy and so hopeful about life and I have realised that you can write about anything that makes you feel things and it will always be so much better than anything AI writes, because you wrote it, because a human being documented their real time thoughts and emotions and put so much time into it.

Don’t ever for one second feel that your work is any less or not good enough, you sat there and decided to take time out of your day to write something, or make something and that is valuable. If Jane Austen hadn’t written down her stories we wouldn’t have had such great piece of written work, we wouldn’t have had any idea about what romance felt like during the Regency era.

Recently along with chatbots, we now have AI musicians being pushed onto us by certain apps and we need to seriously reject it, because why would you listen to a robot singing when several human beings exist, with different things to sing about, support your local musicians, local bands, it’s necessary they gain attention, not AI musicians.

Imagine having to compete with AI musicians too now, but people still aren’t losing hope, so many small artists are still releasing music, they’re working day and night on their songs, earnestly writing their own lyrics rather than using AI to do their work for them.

So, don’t for one second question your creative work, no matter what it is, gather some courage and put it out there, imagine someone discovering your work 30 years from now and maybe you will become their inspiration, afterall what is a human being without some hope?

You need to sit down and do whatever it is you like, whenever you want to, whenever that creative energy hits you, because I remember how much I loved reading wattpad as a young teenager, I knew that the writer from Spain had so many errors in her writing but I still read her work and thoroughly enjoyed it, because she was from a different part of the world with a new perspective, and no matter the grammatical errors, I understood what she was trying to convey and the plot was interesting.

As a creator you know that AI will never capture human emotions as well as you will, so stop comparing yourself with a robot, because human creativity is always worth so much more than AI slop.

If you are someone who uses AI, why? Literally sit down and use your brain, it’s seriously shameful that a grown person is using AI because they are too lazy to think, you know that AI is destroying the environment along with human creativity, then why are you choosing to support it? SAVE THE PLANET!!

Don’t you want to not suffer from this extreme wave of heat that is going around the world? The sudden drops or increases in temperature is because of global warming and AI is literally making it ten times worse than it already is, you can actively choose to make the planet a better place.

You need to seriously go out and touch some grass and gain some sort of experience if you can’t come up with something original and need AI to do your work for you, it’s embarrassing that you choose to destroy the environment because you’re too lazy to use your own creativity.

This isn’t just a reminder for my readers, but also, myself. Wherever you’re reading from dear reader, a misplaced punctuation mark, a spelling mistake, all of that makes your writing even more human, so don’t beat yourself up about it, just know that your creativity inspires someone or the other, it is the reason someone decides to pick up their phone and think, feel and maybe even create.

So continue to be you, unapologetically, and REJECT AI SLOP!!

Thank you for reading ♡

How many times have we heard people tossing around the B word casually when talking about women? Maybe, you’ve heard your own friend say it when she was talking about you behind your back? Your boss? Relatives? An acquaintance?

It probably hurt you, you internalised it too for a second, you know you did, for whatever reason it may be, you let it go but you think about it from time to time. This was genuine though, you weren’t in the wrong and you knew it, you had to make that choice or decision because you chose yourself.

When your boss asked you if you were okay with receiving the promotion instead of your work bestie, you chose to prioritize yourself and your own career, maybe you left a man because he wanted children and you didn’t, you chose to live away from your parents because you were chasing your dreams.

The reasons are endless but there are a few words the society loves throwing around when a woman is involved, their favourite seems to be self-centred though, because apparently such a woman is trashy.

When I think of the term self-centred, I don’t think that it should be as negative as it is made out to be. If I don’t think about myself, don’t prioritize myself, then who will? I think that should be the real question, why should a woman always choose to care for the people around her, the needs of those people, who won’t bat an eyelash before they discard her like used tissue paper?

I will never understand why a woman must be maternal, nurturing, and gentle? I don’t want to be just those things, I want to be selfish, unbothered and unapologetic. When a man is so, it is manly, its acceptable, but why must these differences exist? In a lot of situations a woman must be much more assertive and firm than required, she may not be taken seriously otherwise.

Why is it that a woman’s drive to be successful is seen as an atrocity, but when a man does the same, he is so determined? These discriminations are very much real and still exist, doesn’t matter if you turn a blind eye to it, women experience it. When a man chooses to leave his family and take a boys’ trip, he’s so cool, when a woman does the same and takes a girls’ trip, “how could she leave her kids behind? What an irresponsible mother”

No matter how much we evolve, these people and this mentality, that a woman should be grounded to her home will never leave, for example, many successful women although highly recognised, are still disrespected. A famous actress will be asked when she plans on getting married, her male co-star will be asked what director he wants to work with next, even if he’s pushing 40’s and unmarried.

At the end of the day, a woman’s identity is always reduced to trivial topics like marriage, or children, or how pleasent natured she is, because we continue to live in a patriarchal and misogynistic society, despite the education we receive we still follow the same thought process, we saw a clear example of this, when boys as little as 11 years of age, did not hesitate before commenting “women belong in the kitchen” on social media platforms.

I am not saying that being a wife or mother or gentle is somehow inferior, I am just saying that a woman must have the choice, and she must not be questioned for her choice. A woman should be able to live life on her own terms unapologetically without owing anyone an explanation.

Women don’t owe anyone anything, especially to the society that has continuously oppressed us. We shouldn’t pay any attention to what people around us have to say to us, if we did that we would truly be happy, unbothered women just carry a different type of confidence within them. The comments may bother you in the beginning, but you’ll get over it.

A woman should prioritise herself, her own well-being, and peace. You need to always put yourself first, regardless of the situation, why must you always compromise, bend and lose yourself in order to feel respected, that’s just toxic. The day you start choosing yourself you will see how many people remain in your life, choosing peace will make your life quieter, but healthier.

If you constantly worry about what people are saying about you, or what they think of you, you will soon turn into this unrealistic version of yourself meant to please people and you will lose your authentic self. Do not let people mould your choices, your reality, your dreams and ambitions, you’re a human being not some sculptor’s clay.

Your gender does not decide what you are capable of, if you truly put your mind into it and trust yourself and the process, you will get there, hard work will always reward you, remember people who talk about you are jealous, because they can’t be you, in any case, you are unique.

Thank you for reading :)

I’ve got you, girl. Hop in we are going for a long but fixable ride.

There is no habit that a girl can’t get over if she puts her mind to it, do not worry, boy troubles have everyone in a chokehold and we obviously can only rant about it to our coven, our girlfriends get us, what would we do without them, sigh… but the worst feeling comes upon us when the coven turns against us, and sometimes, we are the problem.

So what exactly are you doing that is turning your very loyal girl gang against you? Something utterly annoying, that is for sure. It may be when they are discussing a serious issue and you bring up your issue with that one problematic man they told you to stay away from, or maybe your friend is discussing her love life when you decide to talk about your own boy problems, or maybe whenever you talk to them, all you can talk about is, you guessed it right, BOYS!!

Well we have all been there, who hasn’t been smitten by the thought of a boy which leads to the constant mentioning of that one man, until and unless your friends grow tired of hearing that one name.

There however is a difference between doing it once or twice and making a boy your entire personality, if you can’t ever open your mouth and not talk about a man, bestie, you are the problem. You may not even realise what you’re doing and by then you’ve already been through a humiliation ritual, when your friends gather around you and explain to you how it is tough talking to you, because you’re too boy crazy, ouch…

You may be mad at them but you do know they are right, you want to fix it, but do understand that fixing takes time, recognizing your mistake and willing to make that change is the first step, so here you are, looking for ways to do so. You have already begun with the process, now lets move to the next few steps, the real fixing.

After realising your mistake you must accept that you are only human, and it’s okay, so now you text or call your friends and apologize, and you need to mean it, now after the torture you’ve put them through you can ask them to intervene, you could ask them to stop you whenever you bring up men repeatedly.

How do you decide if it’s important? Is it a life or death situation? Think, what would happen if you decided to not talk about the fight you had with your boyfriend over what kind of movie to watch for movie night when your friends are discussing gender pay gaps in the film industry, or, your friend is talking about a new guy she met, you do not have to reminisce about how you saw a cute guy the other day for the 10th time, let your friend have her moment.

Basically understand the situation, read the room, what will happen if you do not talk about your relationship or a boy in that particular moment? If it isn’t too serious you should let it go. Also it doesn’t have to be serious for you to be able to discuss about it with your friends, sometimes you may want to share something sweet or about a small disagreement, that is okay too, but not all the time. You will have to learn to differentiate.

When you constantly talk about boys or your relationship with one, it starts to seem like that is the only thing you can talk about, it becomes your personality, even those close to you start seeing you in a negative light. It is different when everyone is talking about boy troubles or boys, I know it may seem like a particular topic relates perfectly to the experience you had with a guy, but you could be mistaken.

If you catch yourself constantly thinking about boys, or your relationship with them, then it may be time to find new interests, develop new hobbies, and to focus on yourself.

Society makes women feel that being with a man is their only purpose, you shouldn’t always blame yourself for this trait of yours, the media that we consume, or our families could be male centered, so much so, that it becomes our personality, changing one’s personality is difficult but not impossible.

Just try to remember that your relationship will never determine your worth, how many boys like you, or find you attractive, does not make you more valuable. How many don’t does not make you less. You are your own person, a boy will come and go, but you will forever stand for yourself, be there for yourself and love yourself. After all, you came into this world all on your own, so learn to depend on yourself, after a point you will be all you have.

You can always find some self help books, if you do not have the patience to read then find an audiobook that can help you transform, journalling works wonders for when your judgement seems clouded about your relationship, writing your thoughts down will help you process them faster. You could find YouTube videos that can help you develop a new hobby, you could try crocheting for example. Technology is wonderful and the possibilities are endless, you might want to put yourself out there, there are a lot of free options but if you’re ready to pay, you could always join a music class, pilates class, dance class, like I said, broad spectrum of choices.

It does not have to be a huge change, we need to start small and then progress forward, ask your friends to help you, I am sure they will be happy to do so. Explain that you’re trying to change, ask for their honest advice, and make sure to keep an open mind.

It may seem difficult at first but change always feels that way in the beginning, slowly you get through it. Try to remember to love yourself so much that you won’t need anyone else to do it for you, it feels good to be loved by others, but it feels better to love your own self, as you are, you are the only one who can love yourself unconditionally, without any expectations in return for your love.

Remember to be loyal to yourself, you are beautiful, you’re unique, you’re you.

Leave a comment